I woke up to somebody yelling at me. It was my temporary friend, Peter, yelling at me to get up and go dead bush picking. Oh, and, my name is Max. The reason why I don't have any friends (forever alone) is that no one wants to be hang out with a boring, annoying noob. I just don't get it. Not all noobs like dead bushes, dirt, and have drooling derpy skins. I just don't really understand Minecraft. It's the truth.
"Get up already! Come on, everyone in Noobville will have taken them!" he hollered.
"Fine!" This was every morning. I took a few apples, my armor (iron, surprisingly), and my tools (stone). For some reason, I had a knack for exploring. Outside, drooling players were swarming around the jungle. No, I meant desert. (Yes, my house is in the desert. No one in Mineville would let my rent one, much less buy one even though I had a good amount of that shiny green thing I forgot the name of)
Peter was running around, randomly hacking away at the sand, cacti (ouch) and occasionally a dead bush. I had to pick up at least one, or all the noobs would laugh at me. I snacked on a apple, while everyone else ate dirt bars. (On sale! $1.00 for a box of 10! Get it at your local store today! We are not responsible for: stomachaches, vomiting, the wither effect, occasionally being extra nooby, or anything else!) Just then I saw a blue glint of light in the distance. Could it be a diamond? Or was it just me?
"Guys! I think I just saw a diamond!" I told everyone.
Everyone just muttered things like "Eh" or "Meh, I don't care" and continued to be noobs. I ran towards the glint of light, which was a diamond! I checked around for traps and stuff, and when I just took it,
THE GROUND FELL BENEATH ME!
I screamed while I fell through the never-ending hole, until it ended. Fortunately I fell in water. Unfortunately, I twisted my ankle. Oh, why didn't I wear my armor? *sighs* When I looked up, I heard groaning. Zombies! I quickly took my sword and defeated the first one, but then it turned out that there was a whole horde! Maybe even 30! I was about to be eaten by the flesh-eating beasts, but then I saw something red and bubbly! Water? No, it was lava.
So, you may be asking, how did I write while fighting? I really don't know. Don't underestimate all noobs, some can have amazing talents too. XD Back to the battle!
I led the slow, undead creatures to the water. (No, I mean lava! Why do I always confuse them? Well, you get what I mean, right?) I thought they would push me into the water, because they eat brains (so they become smarter), but they just fell right in. What a dummy. Then I noticed the things carved on the wall. Wait, they were carved on wood! Signs! I covered the lava so I wouldn't accidentally fall in, and saw some sort of cat or ocelittle (No, I mean ocelot, but they are quite little). Next to it said

Thanks for reading
by PineappleOcelot9

Hmm, who's that? Some player who likes ocelots and eats pineapples? Then I saw a map of my desert, some random, like city thing? In the middle was a diamond... with a little cave under! Is that were I was now?
Then, a player with a tuxedo and troll face, holding a diamond sword and TNT, walked right in.



Don't forget to diamond, favorite, and subscribe if you enjoyed this :3 Thanks! :)
-PineappleOcelot9, the player who left the ocelot face and "thanks for reading" on a sign