My friends, we have found ourselves in dire circumstances. PMC as we know it may be about to end. If you’re reading this, please make haste to your doom bunker immediately.

I’m speaking, of course, about the diamond shortage that threatens our very way of life. What diamond shortage, you ask? Try giving this article a diamond and find out. That’s right, as of 3:39:15 ET nobody on PMC can give diamonds. NOBODY!

This is clearly an ancient prophecy that is reaching fruition. Long ago it was foretold that every diamond on PMC would vanish without a trace. Then fire would rain from the sky and scorch the very planes of the earth, killing our livestock and burning down our houses (unless you chose to build yours out of iron, in which case you’re still OK).

But even if you have an iron house, the next part of the prophecy speaks of ocean waves obliterating the coastlines and great earthquakes that will sink castles and cities into the depths of the earth. Then famine and blight will wipe out the remaining animals and vegetation that survived the fire storms, and there will be nuclear bombs exploding overhead, covering the planet’s surface in a haze of radioactivity.

All will perish in this nightmare scenario (unless you live in an obsidian house at the bottom of the ocean with a built in farm and a hearty supply of iodine pills). The end is nigh, fill your pockets with whatever you can find and repent for your sins! REPENT I SAY!!!

. . .

Well, that or there’s some minor glitch that the admins will fix in a few minutes.

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Update (2/1/15 - 8:22:34)

Crisis averted!  The diamond shortage is over.  Someone must have obtained the magical gem of Zarthos and placed it on the Alter of Pharinx, thus reverting the balance of energy within the universe to its original state.  That or someone fixed the glitch.  We'll never know for sure.  :P