Once upon a time, a creeper named Carl the Creeper was strolling around the fantasy land of MineMagics, when all of the sudden, he became lost.
He wandered about, and eventually got lost inside a gem shaped like a vagina, but it was worth the giggle he got from this.
Anyways, then he came upon this bush where a woman and her dog had their wedding ceremony. He decided to go with the flow, and sat down on the grass right in the middle of the lawn. Well, all of the sudden, he saw the white hair, a long dress, and the most painful tattoo ever.
He raised an eyebrow, and went "Well, this ain't my song, pal." and then he used the stone to sing a different song to the woman, hoping to distract her from the poor, innocent, tortured dog.
"You're supposed to be in there. Where you belong," Carl exclaimed, making everyone in the room gasp in terror. Soon, the man's voice started to break, and the woman with the white hair clutched the dog's body to her.
"What's wrong? Has something happened to the child?" a woman with light hair asked. Everyone in the room suddenly gasped as they turned to face the being standing behind them. It was the frog King, for all intents and purposes the Frog God, and the poor girl on the throne could see the mama frog's eyes growing darker and darker.
"Hehe, she shouldn't've been pushing my boat," the frog king chuckled. "See, I told you I'm not nice. How about a battle to decide if you're in here, or not?"
The three parties looked at each other, and then slowly made their way towards the center of the chamber, where a large, black throne sat. The woman, the dog, and Carl sat themselves on the small throne. The mysterious creature was to Carl's left, and the woman to his right.
"All right, who would you like to face? Me or my pet?"
"I'll take you," the woman replied, looking up at the beast. "It's in my blood, you know."
"Very well then, we shall begin. Speak!"
"Do you know why I have been brought here?" asked Carl.
"You tried to pick up my dog in a bar, that's why," the creature scoffed.
"Alright, alright, I'll get to it," Carl sighed.
"Yes, you were one of the main causes of my premature death," the frog king explained.
"I wasn't a cause. She was," Carl pointed out, glaring at the frog king.
"Yes, well, there you have it," the king muttered under his breath.
"Let me start from the beginning," the frog king stated, shakily.
"It's in my blood. In my blood, in my blood," Carl repeated, once again repeating the king's answer.
"You know what's in your blood, don't you?" the king asked.
"Yeah, I know what's in my blood. You're a frog," Carl said, annoyed.
"I told you to get to the part about my baby being in my blood. You're such a little shit. Take one of your goddamned fingers out of your mouth," the king commanded.
"Oh, all right, but I have to do you next," Carl replied.
"Are you sure? Or could you use my pet to distract me? The poor dog, such a little pain in the sass."
"I'm fine, thank you very much," Carl sighed, pointing at the dog.
"Well then, all of you back off, because I'm about to show you something, and I know exactly how to deal with these bastards."
"Show us, my lord," asked the dog.
"Yes," the frog king replied, holding up the black stone that sat on his lap.
"Alright, now we're going to fight. Are you ready?"
"Yes, my lord. I will defeat you!" the dog assured the frog king.
"Let's get this over with."
The Frog Lord spoke the battle words, and the two fighters squared off. The dog went into battle mode, and ran towards the frog's gigantic body. The frog king had the giant, white dog in his sights, and was about to strike down the dog.
"Now!" the frog king said. "Aight, let's do this. Aight, AHH!" The frog king pulled out a huge, clacking mace.
"OFF!" yelled Carl, throwing a rock at the mace.
The mace hit the ground, and the mace bearer became an enraged frog.
"Aight, this is what we're doing. Okay, once more, you are going to come at me, I am going to swipe you off your feet, and when I do, you are going to begin to follow me. You're following me right now."
The frog king shouted the battle words once more, and the two fighters faced each other again. Carl was able to get his big, yellow body right next to the frog, and was able to swing at the frog king. The frog king was able to counter it, and punch Carl right in the face.
"Ow!" Carl moaned, clutching his cheek.
The frog king swung again, and this time Carl grabbed the mace, letting out a battle cry as he broke the mace off of the frog king's hand. The frog king's other hand came up, trying to attack Carl, but Carl batted it away. The frog king looked furious, but was quickly hit in the face with a rock from the dog.
"OW, my leg, my leg!" the frog king yelled in pain.
"Alright, that's enough. What do you want, frog?" Carl asked him.
"I want to keep you alive," the frog king panted, wiping the blood off of his face.
"Why?" Carl asked.
"Because, what I have is a lot like mine," the frog king panted.
"Like what?" Carl asked him.
"You see, once you die, your blood is pumped into the King's Blood lake. Then, in a few days, it flows into my lake. I have the lake by my palace, and I live right next to it. If you are able to control the blood, then I will let you live. If you fail, your body will be fed to the King's people."
"And what do I get out of this?" Carl asked him, trying to make conversation.
"I give you, for free, a scepter. If you are able to follow the rules and the order of the King's laws, then I will also give you a crown and a sword."
"This isn't a bad deal," Carl answered, as he wrapped his hand around the blood-filled mace.
"It is for now, until one of us gets stronger," the frog king told him. "Now, let's fight."
The two frog kings began to circle each other. The dog looked at the blood-covered frog king, and was ready to pounce on him.
"Alright, let's fight," Carl said, holding his hand up.
"Don't be stupid," the frog king replied. "I'm the master of all of this, so I'll do what I want."
Carl nodded to the frog king, and the two began to fight once again.
The frog army began to gather around them, "This is going to be a fun fight," said the frog king.
"Haha, as much fun as fighting a dog will be," Carl replied.
"It is definitely going to be a fight, but I know that I will win," said the frog king.
The battle continued, but no one could tell who was winning. Both fighters were slugging it out with every single hit.
Finally, the frog king swung, and Carl was able to dodge. The frog king swung again, and Carl wasn't able to dodge.
"No!" Carl screamed.
"Don't be silly, it wasn't that hard," the frog king said, smirking at him.
Carl looked at the frog king, and suddenly began glowing white.
"I think I know what's gonna happen," the frog and the woman replied in sync.
"Tss-Tssssssssssssssssssss..."
"EVERYBODY, RUUUUUUUUUUUN," cried an elderly man in the crowd. However, they were already too late, as Carl the Creeper blew up, sending the frog king all the way to the mangrove swamp a few hundred miles away, and everyone else covered in boo-boos.

THE END + MEME OF THE DAY