To tell you the honest, depressing truth, you never really do get over someone you really really cared about. First off your pissed off with them, then your pissed off with yourself, then your just pissed off at everyone. I've seen other people deal with things much worse. And I mean MUCH worse. They dealt with it by adapting and changing. You distract yourself till its sent to the furthest corner of your brain. And eventually, you think less and less of it. It'll still be a memory, possibly burnt into you, but you can't do anything about that. Spend time with friends. Give up looking for girls for a while. No idea how old you are, but I highly doubt your 40. I wouldn't waste the most fittest part of my life away on girls. I tried, and unless a certain thing happens, I won't try again till I've decided to settle down a bit. Enjoy yourself with your friends. Don't bother listening to music. Watch a good film with no romance, or read a good book with no romance. Play games, just don't detach yourself from society. Ignorance is bliss apparently. Ignore the annoying voice in your head thats making you think its your fault, and there will be bliss. If you find you can't ignore it, read. Or talk to your friends, about something other than your feelings. If your feeling way to lonely, get a pet like a cat, or a dog. They give great company. Especially cats. Hope I didn't depress you or bore you.