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Creepypasta [Him! In the hole]
GiganticBlock
So i am trying out writing creepypastas but unfortunelly i don't know how to post one on creepy pasta wikia so i will just post it here. Please give me feed back
Him! In the hole
I didn't know what will gonna happen today. I haven't expected something horibble. It was an usual day. Birds singing, people hanging out. I sat in my home. Then i decited to go call out my friend who lives in forest. I didn't had he's number because i met him just yesterday. Yeah i forgot to ask him the number but we we're having fun outside at yesterday for many hours. So i went out of my house and walked. Then i came in the forest. It was large, creepy forest. I didn't liked walking throught it because it was like jungle. I have heard so many rumors. I also have heard that at world war 2 an nuclear bomb was dropped nearby for testing and that there is some radiation. Back then i was very scared of radiation. I have heard about it on science show and all back then i heard about it was that if you stay for long on places where it is then you die. But that later turned out to be one of these false legendes. But the thing that i meet was an true legend! So i walked and walked he's house was about 2 miles away. And the jungle like forest and all these rumors i heard back then, gave this place an creepy feeling. But one rumor scared me more than anything else in this place. The same friend i was going to told me about it. Some other local boys told me about it also but in alot shorter version, that's why my yesterday's friend version scared me most. The legend told that there's a hole. Full with sand, dirt and other things. And if you step into it you start falling very deeply and then you land on bed in bloody room. Then there is doors who are locked and at the end of the corridor there's a creature that slowly walks into room and the torture and kills you. Back then i was half afraid of this legend and half skeptical about it. I wanted to prove my friend that it's not true. Bingo! After a while i found hole like my friend told me. I wanted to prove him that he was wrong so i stepped in it. Nothing happened. I just find out that the legend was false. But when i was about to climb out the sand suddently started falling down with me. My adrenaline rised up like never before. And then happened the most horibble thing in my whole life. I fell in bed and room which was full of meat, blood and horibble things. I was so scared i didn't know what to do. Then there we're doors too and i looked and i saw the creature. I almost fell in coma from fear, but then i remembered something. My grandma gave me an knife. She told me that it's an magical knife. My grandma died few months ago back then and she was a bit weird woman. She worked with magic and strange stuff. So when creature came in the room i pulled out grandma's knife and killed it. It fell down and then all i remember is that i woke up in my friend's house. I told he's parents about it and they believed me. They said that the legend is real and i was lucky that i had the magical knife. Now 10 years have passed and me and my friend still remembers this strange event. Now i try to avoid any kind of strange holes. And i recommend you to avoid them too!
Him! In the hole
I didn't know what will gonna happen today. I haven't expected something horibble. It was an usual day. Birds singing, people hanging out. I sat in my home. Then i decited to go call out my friend who lives in forest. I didn't had he's number because i met him just yesterday. Yeah i forgot to ask him the number but we we're having fun outside at yesterday for many hours. So i went out of my house and walked. Then i came in the forest. It was large, creepy forest. I didn't liked walking throught it because it was like jungle. I have heard so many rumors. I also have heard that at world war 2 an nuclear bomb was dropped nearby for testing and that there is some radiation. Back then i was very scared of radiation. I have heard about it on science show and all back then i heard about it was that if you stay for long on places where it is then you die. But that later turned out to be one of these false legendes. But the thing that i meet was an true legend! So i walked and walked he's house was about 2 miles away. And the jungle like forest and all these rumors i heard back then, gave this place an creepy feeling. But one rumor scared me more than anything else in this place. The same friend i was going to told me about it. Some other local boys told me about it also but in alot shorter version, that's why my yesterday's friend version scared me most. The legend told that there's a hole. Full with sand, dirt and other things. And if you step into it you start falling very deeply and then you land on bed in bloody room. Then there is doors who are locked and at the end of the corridor there's a creature that slowly walks into room and the torture and kills you. Back then i was half afraid of this legend and half skeptical about it. I wanted to prove my friend that it's not true. Bingo! After a while i found hole like my friend told me. I wanted to prove him that he was wrong so i stepped in it. Nothing happened. I just find out that the legend was false. But when i was about to climb out the sand suddently started falling down with me. My adrenaline rised up like never before. And then happened the most horibble thing in my whole life. I fell in bed and room which was full of meat, blood and horibble things. I was so scared i didn't know what to do. Then there we're doors too and i looked and i saw the creature. I almost fell in coma from fear, but then i remembered something. My grandma gave me an knife. She told me that it's an magical knife. My grandma died few months ago back then and she was a bit weird woman. She worked with magic and strange stuff. So when creature came in the room i pulled out grandma's knife and killed it. It fell down and then all i remember is that i woke up in my friend's house. I told he's parents about it and they believed me. They said that the legend is real and i was lucky that i had the magical knife. Now 10 years have passed and me and my friend still remembers this strange event. Now i try to avoid any kind of strange holes. And i recommend you to avoid them too!
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It's kind of... not very good, filled with kļūdas and stuff. Forgotten articles, misused articles, tense trouble - that kind of thing. "was gonna" or "would", not "will gonna", "a usual" not "an usual", "I" the pronoun is always capitalized. Paragraphs are nice.
Just from an artistic point of view: creepypastas are supposed to be scary, and it's not very scary if you kill a monster a couple of sentences after it is introduced. A reader didn't even have any time to get a good look at it and get frightened, then suddenly - oh wait, I got a magic knife with +4 against monsters, the poor thing promptly gets pwned. What kind of a wussy monster was that?
Writing is hard, so it's better to write in your native language, or a language you speak almost perfectly.
Just from an artistic point of view: creepypastas are supposed to be scary, and it's not very scary if you kill a monster a couple of sentences after it is introduced. A reader didn't even have any time to get a good look at it and get frightened, then suddenly - oh wait, I got a magic knife with +4 against monsters, the poor thing promptly gets pwned. What kind of a wussy monster was that?
Writing is hard, so it's better to write in your native language, or a language you speak almost perfectly.
GiganticBlockSo i am trying out writing creepypastas but unfortunelly i don't know how to post one on creepy pasta wikia so i will just post it here. Please give me feed back
Him! In the hole
I didn't know what will gonna happen today. I haven't expected something horibble. It was an usual day. Birds singing, people hanging out. I sat in my home. Then i decited to go call out my friend who lives in forest. I didn't had he's number because i met him just yesterday. Yeah i forgot to ask him the number but we we're having fun outside at yesterday for many hours. So i went out of my house and walked. Then i came in the forest. It was large, creepy forest. I didn't liked walking throught it because it was like jungle. I have heard so many rumors. I also have heard that at world war 2 an nuclear bomb was dropped nearby for testing and that there is some radiation. Back then i was very scared of radiation. I have heard about it on science show and all back then i heard about it was that if you stay for long on places where it is then you die. But that later turned out to be one of these false legendes. But the thing that i meet was an true legend! So i walked and walked he's house was about 2 miles away. And the jungle like forest and all these rumors i heard back then, gave this place an creepy feeling. But one rumor scared me more than anything else in this place. The same friend i was going to told me about it. Some other local boys told me about it also but in alot shorter version, that's why my yesterday's friend version scared me most. The legend told that there's a hole. Full with sand, dirt and other things. And if you step into it you start falling very deeply and then you land on bed in bloody room. Then there is doors who are locked and at the end of the corridor there's a creature that slowly walks into room and the torture and kills you. Back then i was half afraid of this legend and half skeptical about it. I wanted to prove my friend that it's not true. Bingo! After a while i found hole like my friend told me. I wanted to prove him that he was wrong so i stepped in it. Nothing happened. I just find out that the legend was false. But when i was about to climb out the sand suddently started falling down with me. My adrenaline rised up like never before. And then happened the most horibble thing in my whole life. I fell in bed and room which was full of meat, blood and horibble things. I was so scared i didn't know what to do. Then there we're doors too and i looked and i saw the creature. I almost fell in coma from fear, but then i remembered something. My grandma gave me an knife. She told me that it's an magical knife. My grandma died few months ago back then and she was a bit weird woman. She worked with magic and strange stuff. So when creature came in the room i pulled out grandma's knife and killed it. It fell down and then all i remember is that i woke up in my friend's house. I told he's parents about it and they believed me. They said that the legend is real and i was lucky that i had the magical knife. Now 10 years have passed and me and my friend still remembers this strange event. Now i try to avoid any kind of strange holes. And i recommend you to avoid them too!
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