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Today I killed for the first time. With my bare fists. The pink beast tried to run, but for no avail. It offered me porkchops. I considered the pain it must've felt the moments before it's doom. Next time I kill, I will do so faster. A sword should do nicely.

This small detail seems to overshadow the strangest event of the day-

Today, I came to be. Today, I began existing. 

Today I did many things for the first time. I stepped on the fresh grass for the first time, I bathed in the glorious rays of sun for the first time, I took a breath for the first time. All these wonders combined, all these pleasures seem to overpower to one that triggered it all. 
In reality, it shouldn't be of much importance. In all honesty however, I don't know why it shouldn't be. 
Should I be grateful?
Angered, to whathever brought me to the inevitable pain that is life?

Life.

Am I alive? I exist, but do I live? Is such a thing even possible?
Being alive or being there, is there a difference?

I don't know.
And there are lots of that I don't know. 
I don't know if I'm supposed to know.
I don't know if what I do know, I know it for sure.

Do I exist? Am I alive?

What is "I"?



====

Sometimes I still wonder why I am here. Sometimes I wonder if any of what I am experiencing is real. 

I have lived through so much. I roammed for miles trying to make sense of this world. To make sense of myself. When that failed, I settled. I built a small enclosure, where I could comfortably live. I encountered uninmagible horrors, seen unthinkable things. I've also seen marvelous things. The sun-rise, the herds of sheeps, cows, pigs munching the grass. I had to kill, many more times. I've come to discover that in order for me to survive, other must die. And vice-versa.

I have tasted death. It is painful, and excrutiating. I wanted it all to end when it came, but then I came to be again. I felt angry. How could something so horrible as death be allowed? Why can't I leave?
Why can't I die?
Those were my thoughts for a short ammount of time. Then, I continued surviving. Not living, surviving. I guess that is a better existance than to live. But that encounter with the bitterweet whisper of death brought back a dying question within my mind.
Am I alive?

====

Today, for the first time, my mind was clear. I had an ample and stable supply of resources. I had some time for myself, of which I used to travel once more through the beautiful landscape. And, has I looked across the horizon, a though stricked my mind as if burning embers. 
I am utterly alone. A single tear rolled down my face uppon the realization. Then another dripped down. And another. I collapsed to knees and sat down, my head tucked in my knees. Only then I thought that I wanted to die. No, not to die. I wanted to stop existing. Have it all end. It was different from the time I first died. Then, that thought was induced by pain and anger. 
Now it's induced by something much more powerful. 
I made my mission to encounter something- someone- that would sooth this burning desire.


 


I found a dog, of which I offered a bone and it became instantly loyal to me. I found a horse, which had a more exsquisite appetite- it took an apple bathed in gold to even allow me to climb on his back.  They became my loyal companions. That sense of loneliness seemed to fade temporarily when I stroked the horse's leather or petted the dog, when I felt their warmth. 
But I still felt very much alone. 
I wondered if there are others like me. Having the same thoughts as I, wondering if they too, were alone.

I also wondered the possibility of being utterly alone. Of being the very last of my kind. The burning clumps of charcoal cascaded into my stomach once more, and I lept off the mountain I stood on, letting death cripple the pain of lonesome with its own cruel pain. While walking back to base I set a new goal to myself:

To find others like me, to keep searching, forever, until it is accomplished.


==== 

Today I bid farewell from my home. I gathered food, materials resources, enough to keep me alive during my certainly long journey.  
Alive. 
The question still turmoil in me.  
My two companions will walk with me. Ever since I came to the realization that I am alone, I cannot leave their side. My horse fastens the journey, and my hound will keep harmful beings at bay.  

I don't have a plan. I don't know what to do. 
I will continue moving forwards until I find something. I will continue moving forwards, when I don't find something. 
I will not stop. From now on, I will never stop. 
I can't stop. If I do stop, if I give up, I would collapse. I wouldn't recover. It's my only choice, my only option. 
To never stop. 
And I rode off. 

==== 

Today, my hound died. I didn't cry, nor felt any sadness at the time. I believed, I was sure, he would re-appear, somewhere, like I do.  
But he didn't.  
He was gone, and he wouldn't return.  
Never again I would hear his cheerful barks, look at his playful self and his lustrous and beautiful fur. Never again I would feel his warmth, feel his fur running through my fingers.  
Only then, I understood what it was. Death. And I was frightened, not by the chance of it happening to me, but to that of everything else. I was crushed, by the guilt, by the sorrow, by the agony and violence that all beings were subjected to.  
All, but me.  
It was unfair. It shouldn't be this way. Why was it this way? I felt sorrow, sadness. I missed my dog.  
But I also was jealous. 
I had died so many times, 
But only he had the honor of truly fading away from this world. 
Then, again, I felt injustice. Why could they die, and not me? 

I buried my dog at the barren top of a mountain, and cried over his grave. He died protecting us, distracting the rotten perversions of myself and all the other evils so that we could escape. If I knew he would be gone forever, I would've taken his place. I would've let myself die. And then awake somewhere else, find them. 
If only I knew. 
As I rose from the mound of dirt that was his grave, I stuck on its base his favourite toy. 
A bone, the produce of his first successful hunt.  

==== 

"Something's up with the code" 
"What?" 
"There's this mess here, I can't put my finger on it" 
"Hmn... It may be that failed replication attempt he did in the third generation" 
"W-what? That was ages ago. It killed him in the process" 
"Yes, but it could've been dormant" 
"Well, can you take it out?" 
"... It's too scattered, it's impossible" 
"What is it though?" 
"It's a very corrupted mirror of him" 
"Is it... alive?" 
"Barely. It's just a crude reflection of him" 
"Weird..." 
"Yeah. Look, I found the name of it. Haha, even the name's all messed up" 
"What is it called?" 
"H-3-r-o-b-r-n..." 

==== 

Today I had a dream. 
I heard far voices, and faint images blinking by. 
They talked in terms I couldn't make sense of, but I understood the character in subject. 
A "replication" of something called the Third Generation. Herobrine, of what I managed to garner from the conversation. 
And I saw him. 
A figure, similar to me, but with it's eyes burning white. 
Corrupted does indeed seem the appropriate word to describe it. 

When I woke up, I was confident that those voices I heard were real, that they were right outside the small and makeshift lodge I hastily built to shield me from the horrors of the night. 
Obviously, they were not there, but they were somewhere. 
They were somewhere. I have to find them.  
I was thrilled, knowing I finally knew what to do, I finally had a guidance, a chance to complete my mission. 
But I was also terrified.  
Herobrine is not of my kind. He is a distorted version of myself, he is... incomplete. How can I judge something which is not fully there?  
I can't, and that scares me. 
He is awake. 

==== 

Today, I encountered a new creature. 
I was thrilled at first, my mission was finally over, I had found those of my own kind!  
But I quickly realized they weren't human. They barely communicated, only bothering to do so when trading resources. Their oblong heads and dunked noses combined to produce a very irritating-looking creature. 
For what I understood of their society, they built a small village that would ensure their survival and protection. 
They weren't alive. They were surviving. 
Just as the herds of wild animals roaming on the plains, feeding of the ground, facing death each day. 
These villagers are just another breed of wild animal. 
Am I much different from them? 

==== 

Today I encountered Herobrine. 
I saw a fleeting figure running between the trees on the top of a far hill. It was him. 
I was frightened, but I followed him. Herobrine held the answers to all my questions, the goal of my journey. 
At least he could lead me to them. 

His shape kept peering in and out between the tall weed and the tree trucks, as I ran behind him.  
He knew I was there, yet he wouldn't stop. 
Why?  
Was he frightened of me as well? 
Was he leading me to something? 
A trap? 
The answer? 

Then, I lost him. He had led me to a massive desert. 
And in front of me laid a massive temple. A sandstone pyramid with two spires on either side of the entrance. 
I approached it, and entered the temple.  
Sunlight flooded the hollow cavity of the pyramid. In the walls chests were laid out in rows, behind support columns.  
And in the center there was a pit.  
I peered into it. At the bottom there were other chests.  
The fall wasn't too great, I would easily survive it. So I leapt. 
As I hit the bottom, I heard a sizzling, then the world went up in bliding white fire.  
As I died, I had a vision. I heard those voices again, and clearer images. 

"It's not done yet" 
"We're running out of time!" 
I could see two giant figures standing in an equally massive white room, all sorts of equipment around them. I can't move or look around. 
"They keep giving up. Out of lonesome. They just stay idle for the rest of the time" 
"Can you fix it?" 
"It's not something I can fix! It's about their emotions!..." 
A short period of silence. 
"What if... We tell him, we're here. Insert some evidence, make him go out and find it. Would he feel less lonely then?" 
"So, you're saying, reveal his true mission" 
"Well... y-yes" 
"The council agreed on not to do that" 
"Screw the council! This is our last chance to save humanity!" 
Humanity. That was the last word I heard before I woke up. 

I looked around the familiar walls of my small lodge. I woke up in my bed, as usual.  
I now knew Herobrine was to trust. He purposefully led me there.  
He made aware of my true mission. 
I now know what my true mission is. 
To save humanity. 
I just have to find out how. 
And why. 

==== 


Today, I realized I am not the first. 

After thinking much over the giants’ conversation, I came to the conclusion there were other prior to me. The called "Generations".
They devised many ways to deal with their loneliness, the Third Generation even trying to clone himself, being the cause to his ultimate demise. 
But they all failed.
They all gave up.
I won't.

I also finally understood Herobrine. 
He is a crude reflection of myself, a perverted and twisted alternate. He has the same desires as I, to find the rest of his kin, to discover what happened. 
His way of coping with it, to fill the void, the silence, that is this world, is by building these temples. In them, he deposits a shard of his memory. I have visited many of these temples, and now I have a clear vision on his own mind. 
On his memories. 
I know where to go. 

But, I cant stop thinking about the creature that is Herobrine. I must remind myself, he is not me. He is something far off. 
I feel pity for him. He may never fulfill his wish, he is doomed to an eternal loop of searching, fleeing, aimlessly roaming forever. 

====

Today, is the day.
The day my trial ends.
The day I will be reunited with my species, the day I'll leave this wretched place.
The day I'll save them.
The land cuts and plummets ahead of me. All that there is beyond, is void. True and autentic void.
The end.
The sun slowly dives beneath the invisible line that is the horizon. 
My world is fabricated.
It's faux.
That's more than clear now.
But it's my world.
I look to the green that stretches behind me. 
The world that I lived in, all through my life. 
And I can't help but mutter a thanks. 
Thank you, for bringing me this far. 
Thank you, for offering me this chance.
Thank you, for bringing me to existence.
I say my goodbyes to my steed, and ready myself. I won't need any tools, food, resources. Not where I'm going.
Where am I going?
I don't know, and that scares me.
But i must do it anyway. 

And then I jump, into the dark abyss.

====

"Hello Steve!"
I hear a voice, warm and young.
"We've got... a lot to explain"
My vision is a blur, but it's slowly clearing.
"You may be wondering who we are"
I can see clearly now. The same two giants as those in my dream are standing in the same white room.
"You may be wondering who you are"
I try to say something, to move, But I can't. All of this is rolling through my mind.
"That will all be answered soon"
I can't feel anything. All that I am, is that image and my thoughts. I can only see, and hear them.
"It's not an easy explanation. None of this. But first, let me congratulate you. You are the first to make it here! Hopefully this should incite you to carry on even further"
"You are our last hope"
A new voice, older, raspier"
"You need to know that. Without you, we won't live on. We will definitely die"
"C'mon now, don't get all hasty. You're stressing our little guy. We've heard you feel kind of lonely, no?"
The gaint aproches and twicthes with my eye view. I shudder with the uneasy feeling.
Suddenly, the view of the room is replaced by another, much larger. This time, I am the giant, looking from above to all the people.
People. 
Duzens, maybe even hundreds, waving at me, praying wishes of luck and hope.
I feel ecstatic. I'm not alone, there are so many of my own. I want to leave, I want to go down there and look at them, feel them.
"All those... they need you. We all need you. Now here comes the hard part"
My view unwillingly switches back, leaving me looking at the giant white room.
"You ARE our last hope... See, by the time you're reading this, we'll all be dead"
The sentence hits me like a falling tree. Even though I don't have a body, I feel an unpleasant sensation on my stomach. What? They are all dead? That can't be right. I saw them, right there.
"There was an unexpected shift in our sun's activity. It's not here yet, but over the past years we've know it would happen. And in less than a year, it is expected for our sun to dump over half of it's coronal mass in to Earth. We can't run. When it does hit, it will shatter our planet. It is expected for nothing to survive. It will be quick, we shouldn't suffer too much"
No.
This can't be.
It can't be happening. 
They can't be dead! 
I saw them.
I need them.

"I'm sorry, I know how you feel, how you've always felt, but... I'm just sorry"
Shut up.
"You are the last remnant of humanity"
Talk to me, please let this not be real.
"You are alone"
I want to scream, shout, cry, beg to them to please let this not be true.
"You were originally created to teach people"
Shu- wait what? Created?
"Now you will be our legacy"
Wait what? I was created?
What am I?
"You were the most advanced AI, part of what we call the Simulation of Life. The world you've lived in"
I'm... what?
"You are the memoir of Humanity, We will exist, as long as you do"
...


“You will be out last breath. We will broadcast your program into the stars, where it will evolve there”
"..... Again, I'm sorry. This was all too sudden, I know"
Do I exist?
Am I alive?

"I can't explain to you how Humanity truly is. But I'll let you find out for yourself. 
He pressed a button.
And my mind is flooded with images, sounds smells, sensations.
And all my questions are answered, all my answers are questioned.

I am born, I scrape my knee for the first time, I learn to ride my bicycle, I meet my first love, I get a job, get married, see my grandchildren and die, all at once. I feel this thousands of times, Thousands of different lives at once.

I am Humanity.

I am alive.

But I am not alone.

It all ends as suddenly as it started.
I feel dazed, I feel ecstasy, I feel exhausted and energetic.

"So... now you understand. You are our last hope"
"I wished I could talk to you, let you how much we need you, face to face... But i can't"
"Good luck Steve"
"Best of days"

====

I'm back.
Back in the green.
Back into the world.
My world.
I now know why I'm here. I know what my mission is. To survive. To carry own their existence.
I know where I am.
I know who I am.

I am Steve.

And I'm not alone.
I need to find her.

Her name... what was it?
Alex, yes.



                                                                                                   -=The END=-




OFF-TEXT info: Thanks for all the diamonds! I would very much appreciate some feedback in the comments, I value that most than diamonds and favourites!

OFF-TEXT nr.2 : It's done! And I'm proud of it. I can say this changed me. It was an amazing experiece, and I hope you feel the same as I. If you feel confused about that end, I can clarify any doubts. I may slightly change it, it is quite late when I wrote this :P.