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BEHOLD THE ANSWERS OF THE UNIVERSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Many have been trying to answer the many secrets of the minecraftia universe. But none know the truth! Only I know the real secrets, and I am going to reveal them to you!
Why do creepers explode?
Because creepers have a disorder that makes them really scared of social interaction. So when they get near to Steve they explode because they think he's going to talk to them.
Why are creepers afraid of ocelots?
Because ocelots secretly have the ability to talk. Creepers know that so they're scared of talking to them because of their disorder.
Why are Endermen hostile when you look at them?
Because on the inside Enderman are Asian and in Asian culture it is disrespectful to look someone in the eye.
How did the world of Minecraft come to be?
Well obviously it's randomly generated by the program of Minecraft. Duh.
Who is Steve?
Steve is you in thirty years when you're addicted to a drug that hasn't been discovered just yet.
Why can you cure Villager Zombies and not Normal Zombies?
Because of their head shape. Zombies don't have the proper head shape to process the correct cure.
Who built the strongholds and what is their purpose?
A long time ago in the world of minecraft an ancient team of builders banded together to defeat the evil leader of the Asian enderman. But they didn't have enough enderpearls to complete the portal and thus they were doomed to a long eternal suffering life in the nether. Or y'know, it was naturally generated by the game.
What are the Villagers?
They're villagers. What else would they be?
Why do creepers drop records only when slain by a skeleton?
Because creeper's hearts are linked to their brains. If they're scared then they won't drop the records when they die. Since skeletons can't talk creepers feel comfortable around them.
How do enchantments work?
You see, enchantment points are your SWAG. Steve keeps it in his inter-dimensional pockets until he has to enchant something. Then he takes it out and places it on the enchantment table which then absorbs his SWAG and converts it into equally SWAGGY enchantment. Except bane of arthropods. That one's not SWAGGY at all.
Why won't you get slime-balls from bigger slimes?
Because big slimes have no balls.
Why do Melon and Pumpkin seeds come from mine-shafts?
Because the same ancient creators of the strongholds put them there.
Why are endermen harmed by water?
Because water has SWAG and enderman cannot come into contract with SWAG.
Why do skeletons/zombies etc. burn in daylight?
BECAUSE THEY ARE SATANIC! NEVER TRUST THE UNDEAD. KILL THEM ALL WITH FIRE AND LET THEM BURN IN THE FIERY DEPTHS OF THE NETHER!
What is soul sand?
The ground up internal organs of Steve's 10,000,000 children.
Does minecraft have a god?
Yes, the dark lord Herobrine rules over it with an iron thumb.
How many blocks are there in minecraft?
As many as minecraft generates.
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
This has nothing to do with minecraft. Why are you asking this?
What is the end?
It's where you're going to stay for the rest of your life.
Know that all of this was intended to be humorous and I wasn't trying to offend anybody. I'd been seeing a lot of these minecraft answers blogs and I thought "What if I were to make a funny one?" and so I did. I hope you liked it.
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Update #2 : by SoarynTheEagle 01/03/2014 1:48:40 amJan 3rd, 2014
Changed a letter of the title to be a capital.
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